Do you ever feel like you wake up and all of a sudden your baby is now a toddler who talks and talks and talks and your baaaaaby went from being a little squishy thing to this giant butter ball that is go go go all the time? I feel like I work so much and then one day I come home from and my kids have totally changed. Their personalities are more present, they are physically bigger, they are different. Where was I? Did I blink and this happened? Did I work so much that now it's days, weeks, months later and I missed it all? FOMO? For sure!
I am not looking for a pity party, I am looking for reaffirmation that I am not the only one that goes through this. I love my job and the excitement and the people, I also love my second job as a Coach, and my third "job" as a Young Living Educator. I love it. I have to stay busy or I feel like I am going crazy, but then again I want to stay busy with my tiny humans. I come home from working full time plus all the over time plus coaching plus, plus. plus, and my kids are different people. They are grown. They can talk now, or crawl, or swim or jump or...... I came home from work yesterday from not seeing my girls for a couple days due to, well work, and getting up at the crack of dawn and getting home after they are already asleep, and I get home yesterday to finally see them, and they are different! Where did my little baby go?! She was like a totally different person and I feel like she doubled in size over the week. I just feel like I miss out so much on their lives when I am trying to hustle to keep our family a float while my husband goes to school.
How do you go through it all with not feeling like a failure? With not feeling like you aren't present when you are home? With no regrets?
I don't want to have resentment, or regrets for hustling my ass off. I also don't want to feel like I am missing so much home life so how do you balance it all? Slow down? Cut back? But how do I do that? Literally how do I financially support my family when I have to work so much and do all these things to pay the bills? Better time management of course, and trying to figure out the very fine line on how to balance job(s), family, and self care. I need all the tips and tricks I can get people, to get me through the hustle of life that I am currently in. I have never been so busy or so involved with so many things that aren't my family and it is scary to me. How to you proactively "show up" for your family when you feel like a zombie after working back to back 12-16hr shifts? How do you still give 100% to your wellness team and your mini monster class that you coach? No seriously how? I want to do well and excel at all the things but how do I do that without feeling like I am only giving 50%. How do I focus on the end goal of my husband not working much and hustling in school to get us to where we want to be? It is hard to keep your eyes on the prize when you are in the thick of it! For these tiny humans we must, we will, we are!
I don't do a lot of personal blogs because I don't want it to seem like I am bitching or complaining and a lot of things that come out of my mouth sound like that even though I don't actually feel like that. I blame it on my aggressive and assertive personality but the reality is I am asking for help. For advice. How can I do what I want to do, successfully, and still be the best mom I can and be PRESENT for my kids?
If you have found any tricks or have any tips please shoot them my way!
Thanks for the vent sesh, sometimes I just need to to be out in the universe and I honestly don't care who reads it or doesn't read it. I just needed to get it off my chest!!